Note: I apologize this was delayed. My friend Rashi was late in getting the source code to post online.
Immigrants: politician is a synonym for landlord in Canada. Wait. You do not think I am complaining because I did not get enough attention, do you? Slumlords not understanding that interest rates have gone up, yes, but back in the day, people owned their property and thus the issue around needing to increase rent to cover the landlords cost never arose. See fucktard? Maybe if you did not use mummy and daddy’s money to move to Canada you could have studied mathematics. All of your tenants hope you outlive your children. That is how much they want to keep paying you rent. You are fucking over everyone trying to better their lives here in Canada. Not just us white guys. Wild.
Universities are no longer a bastion for Western thought in the Western countries in which they inhabit. They are
simply business.
I guess it made me sad to realize this fact. It was difficult to learn. What am I fighting for?
Someone once told me that if you are renting it is safe to pour hot oil down your kitchen sink. I am putting it in print in hopes of clarification. I am painfully self aware. If you think my biography will actually be named after something I said then I guess it is all self becoming all the same. Colby is never allowed to do anything fun. What is that over there? It is just a dictionary. He carries it around to work with him. The same one. He brings it with him every day. We are not allowed to call him that anymore.
If you ask me to define a word I will pretend like I did not hear you. Wait. You do not think I am
conflating immigration with colour,
do you? Why would I care? I just want people who have higher than 100 IQ points. Let all of the white people
below that number go vote in
the upcoming election down South (they probably believe they can). Do you really think the legalization of
cannabis worked out? I mean,
it is probably the only decision the federal government has made that ironically did not fuck over the
indigenous. Now some intern in Ottawa
is looking into overturning it.
We are spread out oceans apart and I will act like eternity is beneath us. Mortal men. Turtles upon turtles all the way down or something. He is just saying random shit it is really not that hard to do. Then it is I who implores you to do so. You will begin to realize there are a bit more than a few extra steps before the diving board and the water. Sirens singing for me in beneath the waves are only just realizing I am the opposite of Joyce but am a better shitty writer. My prose is athletic and moves well through the dark. James Joyce has been dead a century.
I do not care if no grade tens are admonished by their bad teachers because they did not do the short answer questions on my shitty little story. I still remember all of my English lessons, however. Colour not color is actually correct. Prince Edward Island grows the greatest potatoes in the entire fucking universe not just on this continent. I am storming the gates of Antioch asking for a peer tutor.
Wouldn’t it be funny to see what he would do with all that money? No, probably not. All I do is get up to no good and fuck around for the rest. I never once left Azeroth until the nerds ruined the gameplay. Now I am back to rocket jumping and bunny hopping wondering when these kids will learn how to play. In the year 2341 you will come to realize I was already there in 1999 with my family.
Dying to be a Laurentian Elite even though I am struggling to pay back OSAP for funding my reeducation. When I promise you the world I want you to wait for results. I do not want you to believe. Sapientia et doctrina stabilitas. I got high enough one time to be confident in telling you if we do not bring whales back to these waters we will be playing Marco Polo in the great lake of fire. I could not believe it because of how fucked I realized we were but he meant it. Fuck off campus security. Doug and I are allowed to smoke on campus because we are the only ones doing any work here, obviously. When you could no longer smoke a pipe on campus as an academic is when things really started going down hill if you think about it.
I am surrounded by profile picture communists who used government stimulus to move on campus from their mother's basement. I wonder who Karl Marx is. They tell me he is against government and for student housing but I have to take their word for it because I only just finished rereading The Communist Manifesto. At 31 years old, Stephen Harper is the greatest Canadian Prime Minister I have seen in my lifetime. I genuinely do not think any of the rest them actually understand politics. I would have voted Layton but I think Chow is pants on head retarded having one in ten citizens using food banks but prioritizing renaming Dundas. Makes you wonder what the actual goal is? How much is your rent? How much does it cost them to do it? Who are the landlords?
A failed maximalist comparatively degenerate on full display through these Latochian antics. If you ask me, I one thousand percent expect you to have read some books before you try to dismantle a little bit if of anything going on in these rantings. Do not expect the same from me. Subversion is my greatest attribution. My only gripe is an expectation from my readers. I cannot tell if it is ironic to say I am one the best ironists working right now and my editor will not return my calls. Refuse the apple in the garden of Eden. This motherfucker.
I appreciate all of my teachers who were not convicted of crimes. I do not much agree with the Church as I will never agree with Satan. I am thankful for the teachers I had though. I will not name them. Could you imagine?
The only time I am the smartest person in the room is when I am alone. Everyone thinks I am arrogant but I will never stop believing in myself. I know what I am capable of. A late bloomer, I am not interested in the dead bodies littering Mount Everest, but there are a few other peaks I have heard about and am interested in checking out. Figuratively.
Honestly, as a Canadian you should care more about Donald Trump becoming president this year than our healthcare system collapsing, no real or prosperous business on the horizon for our country, the worst brain drain we have ever experienced, mass immigration with literally no housing for existing citizens (nor those who are coming), diploma mill schools that have completely devalued post-secondary education from Canadian institutions, stagnant wages with a spiralling cost of living due to corporate greed, demilitarization of our nation approaching what will be one of the most difficult centuries in our planet's history, a government propped up by losers and bottoms living on Bay St. collecting paycheques for fucking over the working class. Yeah, I fucking hate Donald Trump too and I cannot wait to support Justin Trudeau by voting Liberal in the next Canadian election so Donald Trump can never hurt me again. Phew.
Do not worry. Canadians like it. That is why nothing changes. Do not look at me. You wouldn’t vote for me and I literally do not want to work. I guess that leaves it up to you. I guess that leaves it up to whoever knows what is best for our country. Oh boy.◆